The Ruin A Wish Thread!

First topic message reminder :

This is how you play...The person above you states a wish and the person below grants, but ruins it.
Example:
Person 1: I wish I had a million dollars.
Person 2: Granted, but it's all monopoly money

Person 2 would then state their wish, and the person who posts after them would ruin it, etc, etc

I wish I could be on TV.

Granted, your cold goes away.
But, getting out of bed, you stub your toe and trip, twisting your knee, consequently bumping your head and getting a headache. (nothing a little ADVIL can't handle)

Wish I knew what to do with my life.

Granted, you discover the perfect career and come up with a simple plan that will allow you to retire early. The bad news is that you will no longer have any time to drive your vw and just thinking about it gives YOU a headache.

I wish vegetables tasted better.

Granted, vegetables taste great to you. But, everything else tastes like vegetables. (water, tea, beer, soda, cookies, cake, steak, etc....)

Wish it would never get warmer than 80 degrees.

Granted: 1-800-ask-gary manages to construct a floating monolithic billboard/death star that blocks the sun over the bay area, yet traps just enough heat to maintain a constant 79.5 degree temp. Too bad the giant face of Roz keeps everone inside......

I wish I had a bigger garage full of all the tools I need!

I don't have a come back.... I just had to say, that is hilarious!!

dragnfly wrote:

Granted: 1-800-ask-gary manages to construct a floating monolithic billboard/death star that blocks the sun over the bay area, yet traps just enough heat to maintain a constant 79.5 degree temp. Too bad the giant face of Roz keeps everone inside......

I wish I had a bigger garage full of all the tools I need!

Granted: But with all the tools, there's no room in the garage for your bus, and with all this rain, it's starting to rust away.

Wish I could go back in time (about 20 years) and do a few things differently.

Granted, you get to go back in time....But when you get there
you relize that everybody around has mullets, shoestring ties, and a vocab that ends up putting you in a mental hospital

i wish i had a roof rack for my bug

Granted, but it blows off with all your belongings, while racing down the interstate.

Wish I had a new truck.

Granted, but it breaks down as much as an old truck.

Wish I had a new purse.

Granted, but a purse snatcher takes it.

Wish I could age backwards for 15 years.

Granted, but your young broke and horny all the time.

I wish I had more time in the day.

Granted, but to do so, the earth rotates slower, causing a natural imbalance and killing everything.

Wish winter would come three months early.

Granted, but its a blizard and you can't get out of your house.

I wish all my projects were done.

Granted, but as soon as you finish them, a hurricane comes and blows them away.
I wish there was something good on TV.

Granted, there's a really good ice cream cone on your TV that melts and ruins it.

Wish instead of driving, I could just "beam me up" from place to place like Star Trek.

Granted, but only the top half of you shows up and you spend the rest of your lift looking for your penis.

I wish I didn't have to work.

Granted, you dont, but you end up in the poor house like me.

Wish I had a job that's easy on the back.

Granted, but you end up watching tv with me half the night at my job.

I wish CB Performance would go under.

Granted, But they end up making billions under a new name, using the CNC machines to make Billet Dildos to screw everyone that they haven't yet!

I wish my Oval was ready for Bug Jam!

lol. Granted, and you win best in show become rich and famous loose all your friends, get strung out on Heroin and are found dead with a Billet Dildo.

I wish I had more time to fish.

Granted. But with all the time to fish, you no longer work, go broke and have to pawn all of your fishing gear.


I wish more people wanted to come out and play.

Granted but it turns into a big party and everyone winds up at the peoples house behind yours smoking pot.

Mmm, I wish I could smoke pot.

Granted, but the only reason is because it's prescribed for your Early Onset Glaucoma......so you can't see.


I wish I had a swimming pool, on these hot days.

Granted, but you just lost your home to forclosure

I wish I could fly (not on a plane like superman)

Granted, but you can only fly naked and you get some nasty sunburns on your super pole.

I wish it was 68 degrees all the time

Granted, but it is the 8 fathom deep thermocline in the Atlantic.....So you drown.

I wish my friends lived closer to me.

Granted, but now we ALL have to drive two hours north to go to shows...Thanks Ron.

I wish Ron paid for my gas.

Granted, But I only offer E-30 so your new engine setup runs about as good as your old setup........And is just about as reliable. LOL

I wish my dual carb setup was working better.